Will I Ever Be Enough?

There are many times I find myself falling into self-doubt.  I measure myself up against no one in particular… Just my own idea of “enough”.  My own idea of “enough” that has been shaped by my experiences as well as the opinions of my peers, my co-workers, churches, and the media.
Am I a good enough mom? Did I spend enough time with the kids? Am I really a good enough violinist? Do I cook good enough? Do I clean enough? Am I fit enough? Am I enough for my husband?
And on and on I go…

I reflected on what “enough” actually is and I wondered if there even is such a thing.  Will I ever be enough? Is anyone ever enough?
 
I soon painfully realized that my idea of “enough” was perfection. 

I realized that the real questions I seemed to be trying to answer were “Am I a perfect mom? Am I a perfect musician? Am I in perfect shape? Am I a perfect wife?”

Insecurities arise. Before I know it, I’m trapped. I dug a deep hole of insecurity and I can’t get myself out.

Insecurity tears us up, and it’s a lie that breaks us down. 

Insecurity simply is not of God! The enemy has a way of using insecurity to push us away from who we are supposed to be. God has a purpose for each of us, and insecurity hinders our complete trust in God. When we entertain insecurity in the living room of our hearts, we believe we are not equipped or “enough” so we avoid taking leaps of faith even where there are open doors.

When we dive into that deep hole of insecurity unable to get ourselves out, there is someone who can pull us out. And that someone IS enough.

Our good Lord IS perfect. He is enough! And He lives in me. We need to remember that if we are a child of God, then we need to give ourselves the grace that He so freely gives to us. 

He doesn’t expect us to be perfect, because we never will be in this life. So why do we stress over perfection? Yes, we need to strive to be Christ-like, but why do we beat ourselves up when we think we fall short of our idea of “enough” or perfection? God does not beat us up, we beat ourselves up. He loves us.

I looked up “enough”. Dictionary.com defines “enough” as “adequate for the want or need; sufficient for the purpose”. The site also lists “reasonably” as a synonym. 

Wow. Freedom and broken chains! Nowhere in that definition does the word “perfect” appear. So if I ask myself, “Am I an adequate mother? Sufficient to love, nurture, and educate them?” Better yet… “Am I a reasonably good mom?”

When I replace my idea of “enough” with its actual definitions (my favorite being “reasonably”), I see the room for grace. I can confidently answer yes to those questions. And if I hesitate to answer yes, I remember my identity in Christ. 

I am a child of God. You are a child of God.

God accepts our imperfection. He accepts our repentance. He accepts our progress.


 So when insecurity tries to put me in a hole, I cry out to Him, and He reminds me I am His.
When we face a struggle or task for which we don’t believe we are equipped, remember to believe I can because God can, and He lives in me.

We are to strive to be more like Christ, but let’s stop beating ourselves up when we fall short. Let’s end the high expectations of perfection. Let’s give ourselves grace, and permission to reach for progress. It’s about bringing glory to God in all we do.

Selah

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